A Literary Ceremony
In this ceremony, the language is somewhat stylized. The ceremony features passages from well-known sources. The couple may want to display many flowers, with music provided by strings or woodwinds.
Order of Service
Processional
Exchange of Rings
Greeting and Welcome
Invocation
Homily
Song
Readings
Vows
Rose Ritual
Declaration of Marriage
Blessing
Embrace and Kiss
Introduction of the Couple
Recessional
The Ceremony
Processional
After the minister, groom and attendants are in place, the bride enters with her father or escort. The groom joins her as she stands before the minister. The escort and congregation sit. Music: Canon in D Major (Johann Pachelbel)
Exchange of Rings
The minister says: In the medieval tradition, the bride and groom exchanged rings at the entrance of the church before the ceremony. In this brief ritual, the couple affirmed their intention to enter into marriage with each other. As a token of that intention, they gave each other rings. While we are not at the entrance of the church, today we invoke this ancient tradition at the entrance of the ceremony. Therefore, N. and N., before God and this congregation, I ask you to affirm your willingness to enter this covenant of marriage and to share all the joys and sorrows of this new relationship, whatever the future may hold.
Addressing the groom: N., will you have N. to be your wife, and will you love her faithfully as long as you both shall live?
The groom says: I will, with God's help.
Addressing the bride: N., will you have N. to be your husband, and will you love him faithfully as long as you both shall live?
The bride says: I will, with God's help.
The minister says: Let us pray. Creator and sustainer of the human race, source of spiritual grace, giver of eternal salvation, send your blessing upon these rings which we bless in your most holy Name. May those who are thereby betrothed be armed with heavenly strength, and protected by your care, and experience the help of your blessing unto eternal life. Amen.
The minister, with the groom then places the ring on the left thumb of the bride saying:
In the name of the Father,
then on her index finger, saying
and of the Son,
then on her middle finger, saying
and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
And then, the ring is placed on the fourth finger of the left hand where it remains, because that finger possesses a vein which runs to the heart. The groom then repeats after the minister:
N., I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.
The bride then says:
N., I receive this ring as a sign of your love and faithfulness.
The minister, with the bride, then places the ring on the left thumb of the groom saying:
In the name of the Father,
then on his index finger, saying
and of the Son,
then on his middle finger, saying
and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
And then, the ring is placed on the fourth finger of the left hand where it remains because that finger possesses a vein which runs to the heart. The bride then repeats after the minister:
N., I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.
The groom says:
N., I receive this ring as a sign of your love and faithfulness.
-- Adapted from Documents of the Marriage Liturgy, Stevenson-Searle.
The minister says: Let us pray. O Lord, Creator and sustainer of the human race, source of spiritual grace, giver of eternal life, send your blessing upon these rings which we bless in your most holy name. May both the man and woman who wear them be equipped with heavenly virtue and shielded by your protection, and may they receive the help of your blessing unto eternal life. Amen. [adapted Doc 159]
-- Adapted from Documents of the Marriage Liturgy, Stevenson-Searle.
Greeting and Welcome
The minister says: In this holy place, we have gathered as a community of family and friends to witness as N. and N. express their love. This is a day of joy, a wondrous moment of blessing and a beginning to many seasons of love. We are here to celebrate, support and sustain them in their marriage.
This is a holy time -- for we are in the presence of the God who created us for relationship.
This is an awesome moment -- for we are aware of the strong, yet fragile, cords of love which are woven today.
This is a joyous and hopeful day -- for we celebrate another sign that relationships are truly fashioned in quality and unity.
God has brought us together, not only to support N. and N., but also to sense the wonderful mystery of love by which God makes the world sing and dance. Enter a moment of silence, and feel the blessings of a loving God while you offer your prayers for this special couple.
Invocation
The minister says: Let us pray. Eternal and loving God, by your grace, and with the encouragement of your divine Son, we have gathered to celebrate the union of N. and N. Let your spirit be truly present in our worship. May this service firmly seal their love while reminding them, and us, of your self-giving, all-conquering love. We pray in the Savior's name. Amen.
Homily
Madame LePrince de Beaumont concludes her book, Beauty and the Beast, with these words: "The fairy waved her wand, and everyone who was in the hall was transported to the prince's kingdom. His subjects received him with joy, and he married Beauty, who lived with him for a long time in a state of happiness that was perfect because it was based upon virtue."
In this story, Beauty decided to stay with the beast because she not only found him to be a wonderful friend, but discovered that she could not live without him. And when he was transformed into the prince, he was amazed because Beauty, he says, was "the only person in the world good enough to let [herself] be moved by the goodness of my character."
Please do not misunderstand me. I do not mean to compare the two of you to Beauty and the beast! I am only suggesting that if you want beauty and the best in your marriage, learn a lesson from this story: True happiness and joys are based upon doing the right thing.
Too often, people are overly concerned about finding the right person with whom to spend the rest of their lives. I'm not sure it is a question of finding the right person as much as it is a question of being the right person. When we do what is right and fair and honest and loving; if we are humble and kind and compassionate, our marriage will be full of these same qualities. Isn't this what the apostle Paul means when he describes true love in 1 Corinthians 13? "Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth."
Beauty and the Best. Your marriage can possess both beauty and the very best of this life if it is founded upon virtue.
But what is virtue? The root meaning of virtue is "moral strength, moral excellence." To be virtuous is to be morally strong. That's not easy in these days of moral relativity. Virtue means the two of you must share moral values, that you must believe in something, as well as believing in each other. It means that you must resist the temptation to follow the mass who lead lives of "quiet desperation," as Thoreau puts it, because they have lost sight of the meaning of their lives. To have both Beauty and the Best means you must have not only each other, but you must have God in your lives, who is the author of all that is beautiful and good!
Song
"Entreat Me Not to Leave Thee" (Gounod)
Readings
This part of the ceremony requires three readers, who should read from a lectern, clearly and boldly, for all to hear.
The first reading:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there often is in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, for they too have their story.
Keep interested in your career and in life ... for it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. And let not the problems or trickery of the world blind you to what virtue there is. Many people strive for high ideals, and everywhere, you will find life is full of beauty and heroism. So, be yourself. Never feign affection and do not be cynical about love. For in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsels of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. And do not distress yourself with imaginings. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself and with each other.
You are a child of the universe, no less than are the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all of the problems, drudgery, and the broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world in its light and its love. Strive to be happy.
-- The "Desiderata"
The second reading:
To laugh often and much;
To win respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you lived.
This is to have succeeded.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson (also attributed to Harry Emerson Fosdick)
The final reading:
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient;
love is kind;
love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends ....
And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
-- 1 Corinthians 13
Vows
The groom says (or reads): N., I love you and wish to be your husband, and you, my wife. I believe in our love and want you to know how much I love you. As Hamlet said to Ophelia:
Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt thou the sun doth shine,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.
The bride says (or reads): N., as I become your wife today, I share with you what Anne Bradstreet wrote to her husband more than 300 years ago:
If ever two were one, then surely we,
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee,
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold ....
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.
I vow to love with you, and live with you so long as we both shall live; to be your wife and find my happiness in you.
Rose Ritual
The bride and groom exchange roses as a symbolic offering of the first gifts which they give and receive. Red roses symbolize love, white roses, purity, and yellow roses, loyalty and faithfulness. One rose may be given or a bouquet of all three colors. The order proceeds as follows:
Minister takes roses from the altar or communion table. Turning to the couple, and giving to them the roses they will present to each other, the minister says: Roses are a traditional symbol of love. Whenever we see a single-stem rose, or a bouquet of roses, we are reminded of the human love shared between two people. N. and N., as you prepare to give each other these roses, remember that they symbolize your love. In the future, when you wish to acknowledge your love because of your happiness, or to remind each other of your love because of some temporary misunderstanding, place a rose in your presence. Let the fragrance of this most beautiful flower remind you of the fragrance of the love you share. Let this rose be the first gift you give and the first gift you receive as husband and wife. You may exchange your roses.
Couple exchanges roses. Some couples may wish to leave the altar and visit the parents, with the new family member giving a rose to the mother (son-in-law to his mother-in-law; daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law).
Declaration of Marriage
The couple resumes their positions in front of the minister. The minister says: N. and N., inasmuch as you have thus consented in holy wedlock, and have pledged the same with your vows and by the exchange of your rings, by virtue of the authority vested in me as a minister of the gospel, I pronounce you husband and wife, united in the pure and holy bonds of wedlock, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Amen.
Blessing
The minister says: The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.
Embrace and Kiss
Before the embrace and kiss, the couple recites Percy Bysshe Shelley:
The groom says (or reads): The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the Ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?
The bride says (or reads): See the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?
-- Love's Philosophy
The bride and groom embrace and kiss.
Introduction of the Couple
The minister says: It is my great pleasure to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. N.
Recessional
The couple recesses, followed by the attendants and minister. Music: Postlude in G Major (G. F. Handel)