Order of Service

The baby boomer generation tossed tradition out the window and preferred casual, "contemporary" ceremonies when they married in the late '60s, '70s, and early '80s. Generation Xers, however, have returned to a mix of tradition and postmodernism. Most Xers prefer a ceremony with strong traditional elements, and the reception becomes the vehicle for postmodernist expression, especially in music. This postmodern ceremony couples a Christian tradition with music and readings which express a postmodern understanding of life and relationships.  

Processional

Invocation

Welcome and Greeting

Reading from Scripture

Homily

Vows

Reading

Song

Exchange of Rings

Bitter and Sweet Wine Ritual

Declaration of Marriage

Personal Statements

Blessing

Embrace and Kiss

Introduction of the Couple

Recessional 

The Ceremony

The bride and groom may prefer to hold the wedding in a hotel, home, reception hall or outdoors. Yet, Xers, more than boomers, prefer churches for their ceremonies. This ceremony is based on the event taking place in the church sanctuary. 

Processional

When the minister, groom, and attendants are in place, the bride may process down the aisle with her escort. Music: Trumpet Tune in D (Purcell) 

Invocation

The minister says: God of Creation, we gather now at the creation of a new life, the shared life of N. and N. You created the world around us, you created us, and now, as you bring these two together, you again are starting something new and beautiful. Grace these moments with your creative presence. In the name of Jesus the Christ. Amen. 

Welcome and Greeting

The minister says: In this holy place, we have gathered as a community of family and friends to witness. N and N. express their love. This is a day of joy, a wondrous moment of blessing and a beginning to many seasons of love. We are here to celebrate, support and sustain them in their marriage. 

This is a holy time -- for we are in the presence of the God who created us for relationship. 

This is an awesome moment -- for we are aware of the strong, yet fragile, cords of love which are being woven today. 

This is a joyous and hopeful day -- for we celebrate another sign that relationships are truly fashioned in quality and unity. 

God has brought us together, not only to support N. and N., but also to sense the wonderful mystery of love by which God makes the world sing and dance. Enter a moment of silence and feel the blessings of a loving God as you offer your prayers for this special couple. 

Silence. 

Reading from Scripture

Then God said, "Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth. So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth ... God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. 

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." So out of the ground the LORD God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken." Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh. -- Genesis 1:26-28, 31; 2:18-24:

Homily

The minister says: Marriage is a leap of faith. Today, after many weeks, even months, of planning, your beautiful celebration has come together. All right, maybe not exactly as you planned, but close. The only important detail is that you are here, together, as you will be as long as you both shall live. 

Although I insisted you plan your marriage with as much care as you planned your wedding, I have a confession: Married life won't happen the way you planned. You have planned your finances carefully, but something will happen that you didn't envision. You have made some plans for the family you will become ... but children may not arrive on schedule, and they may not be as you imagined. You have made career plans, but you will adjust them according to how you develop. Both of you will find your needs and expectations changing over time. You will need to make new plans, but you have already learned how to cooperate to reach important decisions. 

Today, you take a leap of faith. You have excellent reasons for believing you belong together. But you do not have guarantees. Instead, you stand together, about to accept on faith the challenge of creating the future together. 

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for ...." You marry in faith that God has called you to live as one. You promise to be faithful to one another, in big things as well as small. Your constant faith in each other will give form and substance to the beautiful hopes you have for your future.  

Faith is "the conviction of things not seen ...." Unless you are an unusual couple, at times your marriage won't look anything like the vision you celebrate today. You may not feel much evidence of the love you now feel so keenly. At such a time, you must look for evidence, for reasons to hang on to -- in the same faith that brought you here today -- the conviction that God has called you together. In the power of God's love and faithfulness to you, you will find the power to keep loving each other until the sun rises again and romance flowers anew. 

Marriage begins with a leap of faith that says "I do, and I will" before an unknown and unknowable future. Marriage is about being full of faith, or faithful, to one another. Faithfulness respects each other's ideas, keeps each other's secrets, guards each other's dignity, and honors each other in public and in private. Faithfulness is built from 10,000 minute acts of trust and trustworthiness. In such faith, you will find the fulfillment of all the hopes you have today. God bless you both. Amen.  

Vows

The minister says (addressing the groom): N., please repeat after me.

      N., I take you to be my wife,

      together to love,

      to work and to share,

      to grow and to understand,

      to discover a deeper, fuller life.

The minister says (addressing the bride): N., please repeat after me.

     N., I take you to be my husband,

     together to love,

     to work and to share,

     to grow and to understand,

     to discover a deeper, fuller life. 

Reading

The reader, who may be the minister or a designated person, says:

      As for your name and your body, which is the dearer?

     As for your body and your wealth, which is the more to be prized?

     As for gain and loss, which is the more painful?

     Thus, an excessive love for anything will cost you dear in the end.

     The storing up of too much goods will entail a heavy loss.

     To know when you have enough is to be immune from disgrace.

     To know when to stop is to be preserved from perils.

     Only thus can you endure long.     -- Tao Te Ching, 44 

Song

"All I Ask of You" (Andrew Lloyd Webber) 

Exchange of Rings

The minister says: These rings are an outward sign of an invisible truth which binds two hearts in one. As such, they are a symbol of the enduring and unending quality of the love which is now expressed between these two. 

The bride places the ring on the fourth finger of the groom's left hand and says: N., I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness. 

The groom places the ring on the fourth finger of the bride's left hand and says: N., I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness. 

The minister prays: Bless these rings, O merciful Lord, that those who wear them, who give and receive them, may be ever faithful to one another, remain in your peace, and live and grow old together in your love. Amen.  -- 1662 Book of Common Prayer 

Bitter and Sweet Wine Ritual

Two chalices of wine rest on the altar. One is full of sweet, white wine, the other a very dry, red wine. 

The minister says: The years of our lives are as these cups of wine poured for us to drink. We experience the sweet wine of life, as well as the bitter wine. N. and N. now share these cups, symbolizing their commitment to drink together of the cup of life, in its sweetness and beauty, and in its occasional bitterness. As they drink, may these cups be for them the cup of blessing, a consecration of their marriage vows. 

The bride and groom drink from the one cup and then the other as they exchange cups.  

In another approach, one small carafe on the altar holds sweet, white wine, another carafe holds a dry, red wine. Two empty wine glasses are placed nearby. During the ritual, the minister pours a small amount of the white wine into both of their glasses. They drink the wine. The minister then pours red wine into their glasses, which they also consume. 

While the couple is sipping wine, this may be read:  

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. 

Love is content with the present, it hopes for the future, and it doesn't brood over the past. It's the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories and working toward common goals. 

If you have love in your life, it can make up for many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else you have, it's not enough. 

Declaration of Marriage

The minister says: N. and N., inasmuch as you have declared your willingness and intention to enter the state of marriage with each other, and have declared the same in the company of God and these witnesses, and have given these rings to each other as a symbol of this commitment, I pronounce you husband and wife.  

Personal Statements

The groom and the bride now offer their vision of their relationship in an extended reading which is less formal and more extensive than the vows.  

Blessing

The wedding is not over; it is just beginning. Not once and forever, but again and again, shall the mystery of two people, together and in love, move one another and touch the world. For marriage is not something said and done, but a promise in which fulfillment is acted out in time. N. and N., may the blessings that rest upon all who love, rest also upon you and fill you with all spiritual grace. May the bond that unites you ever be strengthened. May you so love and work together in the days ahead that your lives shall be enriched and ennobled by a true and deepening comradeship of mind and heart. 

And now, may the presence of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit be with you and abide with you. May the love in your hearts and the greatness of life's possibilities give you joy. And may the assurance of your friends' and families' good wishes give you peace and strength. Amen. 

Embrace and Kiss

The minister tells the bride: You may kiss the groom. They embrace and kiss. 

Introduction of the Couple

The minister says: I am pleased to introduce to you for the first time, N. and N. N.  

Recessional

The bride and groom recess, followed by attendants and minister. Music: Trumpet Voluntary (John Stanley)