The Ceremony
When the minister and attendants are in place, the congregation rises and the bride proceeds to the front, accompanied by her father or other escort. They stop before the minister.
Invocation
The minister says: Let us pray: O God, we thank you for your presence among us on this joyous occasion. As N. and N. give themselves to each other, we pray that they might also give themselves to you, offering their shared life in service to your will. In the quietness of these sacred moments, we remember that you planted the seeds of love in the human heart. Now, as N., and N., stand before you and their friends, we affirm the love that has brought them together. Amen.
Welcome and Greeting
The congregation sits. The minister says: We are gathered here to unite N. and N. in marriage. Marriage is an honorable institution ordained by the church, blessed by Jesus with his presence at the marriage at Cana in Galilee, and perpetuated by faithful and honorable men and women throughout the ages. This simple ceremony, this celebration, is the outward token of a sacred and inward union of hearts, a union created by God's loving purpose and kept by God's abiding will.
N. and N., we have joined to help you give added life to this marriage that you have chosen. Nothing is greater for two human souls than to feel they are joined together in the presence of their Creator to strengthen each other in all gladness, to be one with each other in the silent, unspeakable memories of the heart, and to let their happiness lead them into decisions and deeds that contribute to the lives of others and to the betterment of our world.
(To the congregation:) N. and N. welcome you, their families and friends. Each of you has given some of yourself into their lives. They want you to know that your love, guidance and encouragement will forever be appreciated. It is fitting, then, that you should share this celebration of their commitment to each other.
N. and N., it is in this spirit you two have come to be married.
Question to the Couple
The minister says: Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
The respondent says: I do, or We do, or Her family and I.
The groom steps to the bride's side. The father or escort is seated.
Scripture Reading
The minister says: The Old Testament reading is from Genesis 2:18-24: Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." So out of the ground the LORD God formed every animal of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the air, and to every animal of the field; but for the man there was not found a helper as his partner. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called Woman, for out of Man this one was taken." Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.
The New Testament reading is from Ephesians 5:2, 21-25, 28, 31-33: And live in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God .... Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, be subject to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her .... In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself ....
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church. Each of you, however, should love his wife as himself, and a wife should respect her husband.
Minister's Remarks (Homily)
The minister chooses a homily from those in Chapter 10, prepares his or her own remarks, or says: Many words come to mind today: Love. Togetherness. Bride. Groom. Plans. Frustration! But another word is "gift."
No doubt many of your friends have blessed you not only with their presence, but also with tangible expressions of their love and friendship. You will receive them gratefully, and you will spend hours writing thank-you notes -- if you don't lose the card that comes with each particular gift!
But other gifts are present here today. One is the gift of marriage, which comes from God. Marriage is God's idea, for God saw that in the fidelity of marriage, and the companionship of marriage, lay an opportunity for incredible happiness. When you are experiencing the joy of your marriage, you can give God the praise. When you are experiencing the growth pains of the marriage, you can remember that God has given you to each other as a gift.
But other gifts still exist. Today, N., N. gives you the gift of herself. All that she is and hopes to be, she gives now to you. What more precious gift can there be? She believes that she can better be who she is intended to be with you than without you. She holds her heart in her hand, and extends it to you, knowing you will take care of her. And, N., N. likewise gives himself to you as a gift. Sometimes it is not easy for a man to give himself to anyone. But in you, he has found someone with whom he can trust his heart, his life, his goals, his dreams.
Now, you can give to each other one more thing: time. Give each other: time to grow, time to share, time to experience, time to make mistakes, time to love.
You will truly enjoy God's gift of marriage when you give each other the gift of self and the gift of time. Amen.
Declaration of Intention
The minister says: Before God and this congregation, I ask you to affirm your willingness to enter this covenant of marriage and to share all the joys and sorrows of this new relationship, whatever the future may hold.
Addressing the groom: N., will you have N. to be your wife, and will you love her faithfully as long as you both shall live?
The groom says: I will, with the help of God.
Addressing the bride: N., will you have N. to be your husband, and will you love him faithfully as long as you both shall live?
The bride says: I will, with the help of God.
Vows
The minister says (addressing the groom): N., do you have this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and, forsaking all others, keep only unto her so long as you both shall live?
Groom responds: I do.
The minister says (addressing the bride): N., do you have this man to be your wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and, forsaking all others, keep only unto him so long as you both shall live?
Bride responds: I do.
Song
A vocalist sings: "The Gift of Love" (Hopson), or a version of "The Lord's Prayer."
Exchange of Rings
The minister says: May I have the rings? The minister takes them from the best man or maid or matron of honor, or both, or unties them from the ring bearer's pillow. Holding the rings aloft, the minister says: These rings are an outward and visible sign of an inward and invisible grace, which unites two hearts in love. They are especially significant because the circle of these rings is a symbol of the unending and enduring quality of the love which N. and N. are sharing today.
The bride places the ring on the fourth finger of the groom's left hand and repeats these words after the minister: With this ring I thee wed, and with my body I thee honor, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
-- 1662 Book of Common Prayer
The minister says: Let us pray: Bless, O God, the giving of this ring. May she who gives it and he who wears it live in love and fidelity, and continue in your service all the days of their lives, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
The groom places the ring on the fourth finger of the bride's left hand and repeats these words after the minister: With this ring I thee wed, and with my body I thee honor, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
-- 1662 Book of Common Prayer
The minister says: Let us pray. Bless, O God, the giving of this ring, that he who gives it and she who wears it live in love and fidelity, and continue in your service all the days of their lives, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
Prayer of Dedication
The couple may kneel or remain standing. The minister says: Let us pray. Our loving God, Creator and Preserver of us all, bless N., that he might share his love, strength and protection with N., so that she might find in him character, patience, understanding and faithfulness. Bless N. with tenderness and an inner beauty of soul that never fades and a holding fast to those Godlike qualities which make marriage right and beautiful. Teach them, Lord, not only to live for each other, but to live for you and for others. Give them a living faith which also sends them into life with a purpose to do your will. Allow them enough tears to keep them tender, enough hurts to keep them human, enough failure to keep their hands firmly held in yours, and enough success to make them sure they walk with you. Lord, may they never take each other's love for granted -- bless them in their work, in their companionship, in their sleeping, and in their waking. Let your Holy Spirit be upon them to keep them faithful to each other and to you, that they may know the fullness of life as you intended for your human family. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Unity Candle Ritual
The minister says: N. and N. will now light the Unity Candle. The two smaller candles represent their individual selves, burning singularly and apart from the other. They will together light the larger, single Wedding Candle, signifying that the flame which once burned alone is now joined by the other's brightness and warmth in the unity of marriage.
Declaration of Marriage
The minister says: N. and N., inasmuch as you have declared your willingness and intention to enter the state of marriage with each other, and have declared the same in the company of God and these witnesses, and have given to each other as a symbol of this commitment these rings, by virtue of the authority vested in me as a minister of the gospel, and according to the laws of this state, I pronounce you husband and wife, united in the pure and holy bonds of wedlock. What God has joined, let no man put asunder. Go forth from this place as wife and husband with the blessing of Christ's church. Be loving, patient and kind. And above all, forgive one another as Christ has forgiven you.
Benediction
The minister says: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favor look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that you may so live together in this life, that in the world to come, you may have life everlasting. Amen.
Embrace and Kiss
The minister says: N. you may kiss the bride. They embrace and kiss.
Introduction of the Couple
The minister says: It is my pleasure to introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. N. or, It is my pleasure to introduce to you for the first time, N. and N. N.
Recessional
The couple recesses followed by attendants and the minister. |
